catch up

 I missed not having a computer at my Moms. so much to catch up on but I cant go back in time I am struggling to deal with today so today is what goes here


so to catch you up Mom had surgery to fuse ankle bones december 8th, she is doing really well but still not totally weight baring. I stayed with her untill March first.
J & I are now legally seperated and I have a restraining order to keep in from breaking in to the  house ( that is in forclosure) Again. he took my car while I was not home after he told me I could use it for 6 months, then when ordered to return it he took fuses out and drained the oil, luckily the person I sent to pick it up had enough smarts to look at it before he started it and we will have to have a mechanic look at it before I even touch it.
in December when I left we had only a sex life(TMI ?) nothing else. and with time away I am able to see our relationship clearer. when the money ran out so did all the Love he felt for me, (that he actually took back in 2006 saying he had never really loved me. he also told me last June that he didn't answer my first calls the night of the accident because he was trying to decide how to break up with me.....he then answered the 3rd call 2 hours later, and came to the scene of accident to get me as we left he said you're about to get some money !! 6 figure money, .... )how come I remember these conversations so clearly now but didn't jump from the rig that very moment ? any way sob story continued Johnnie and I are legally seperated fast becoming a divorce. he let the house go into forclosure (after doing a bankrupcy to keep the house in June of 2010..) and I can do nothing to stop him. so I have untill June 4 for sure maybe longer. if you know anyone who is thinking of traveling here and cant afford the hotel I have a master suite I am renting on a donation basis.....:) makin lemonade. :)
since 2004 I have brought in $239,000 dollars Johnnie has brought in $289,000 (not including loans repaid to him from 3 siblings...)  and yet nothing I have is paid for NOTHING .  How did I trust him so much to ruin me financially ? he has every thing that he came to washington with every boat every trailer every camper (plus one) I am sick over all of this  and then he gets nasty tells people I kicked him out and that I ended our marriage, people that know me know how I give to my relationships, people that matter know what is right and what is lie.  I hope that somehow he finds the mental help that he needs.
I'll probably keep adding to this now that I am home and can sit here for 20 minutes several times a day

 Much Love Many Prayers,
Larena