I had a quiet day today and with nothing but good ole Elton and lots to do, I went through my day rather lost in thought.
maybe this is all me after all.
I have been being abused by men since the age of 4. when one abuser moved out of my life another moved in..... so if in fact I am the bad penny here, I am done :) quite happily done. no one can hurt me more than the last ass. no one can take anything more from me, as there is nothing more to take. so can I be allowed to move past this 50 years of abuse cycle and find me, happily ? I have made up for any thing I possibly could have done, right?
Thank You Bernie, your words some days keep me tethered. You have a special place in my Prayers.
forgiveness,
is hard to truly give myself.
I have forgiven others their horrible deeds to me.While I have learned much about others, not so much about me. still I know nothing. lol! remembering what I once was, strong and able to cope with change on my feet and lead people if needed. Now I get lost if turned out on my own.
to young to need so much care, and never having been successful in a relationship, family is left to this. no one will ever want to take me on, slowly I am accepting this only because I understand, I can no longer be counted on to care for myself. finding a way to exist happily is my goal.
maybe this is all me after all.
I have been being abused by men since the age of 4. when one abuser moved out of my life another moved in..... so if in fact I am the bad penny here, I am done :) quite happily done. no one can hurt me more than the last ass. no one can take anything more from me, as there is nothing more to take. so can I be allowed to move past this 50 years of abuse cycle and find me, happily ? I have made up for any thing I possibly could have done, right?
Thank You Bernie, your words some days keep me tethered. You have a special place in my Prayers.
forgiveness,
is hard to truly give myself.
I have forgiven others their horrible deeds to me.While I have learned much about others, not so much about me. still I know nothing. lol! remembering what I once was, strong and able to cope with change on my feet and lead people if needed. Now I get lost if turned out on my own.
to young to need so much care, and never having been successful in a relationship, family is left to this. no one will ever want to take me on, slowly I am accepting this only because I understand, I can no longer be counted on to care for myself. finding a way to exist happily is my goal.
1 comment:
hiya my friend. merry x-mas and happy new year. hope 2014 brings you plenty of piece and quiet and tranquility. Life has been harsh to us all this year.
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